Winner of the first annual "scariest guy to get fucked by in an open field award!" 

"I peed in a cup of milk then kicked it on your kid! I'm Van Damme" 

OD on viagra? Try a Swayze movie to sicken your penis into a flaccid mush patty!

Swayze the anti-boner medicine 

I boned this chick raw dog at her cousins baptism then peed in the holy water! The priest tried to send me to hell but I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his teeth! Yeah! 

Who taught you mum to open the fridge

South Coast Boutique is having a fire sale!

Who told your dad to come to the party as himself

This Turtle Plays Golf Like Your Dad

This Alpaca Doesn't Like Your Tone

"I used a baby to sand my deck! I am the Neech!" 

American TV should be like this! More tits and more Full House! 

Danzig burnt down Zak Morris's house and ended Saved by the Bell! Then he fucked Kelly Capouski on Lisa Turtles Back! Not to mention Danzig stole Zak's boots and left him wearing gay yellow socks and trying to be a rock Super Human like Danzig on a broom! Nice glasses FAG! 

George Bush trying to order 2 fart huffing tubes 

That guy is looking at my dick on Jumbo-tron! 

"I peed in your party ball! Your girlfriend likes her vagina rubbed counter clockwise. I'm James Spader!" 

Here is one dog I almost felt bad about punching 

Here goes the picture your dad has up in his cubical! 

Your birthday party sucked! Your mom is wearing a bean bag! 

I don't know what this thing is but I fucked it! It couldn't even open the soup can